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Ministering Life, Hope and Restoration
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"How To Encourage Your
Child To Use 1) Never eat together as a family. 2) Never have family traditions which occur weekly, monthly, or annually that children can look forward to. And when you do have a family function, make sure to have plenty of alcohol around. 3) Never listen to your children; talk at them, but not with them. 4) Never let your children experience cold, fatigue, adventure, injury, risk, challenge, experimentation, frustration, discouragement, etc. 5) Teach them to "do as I say, not as do. 6) Leave the responsibility of spiritual training and development to the schools and the church, but don’t teach them at home. 7) When confronted with the choice of whether spending time and money on a material pursuit or on a family activity, always choose the material. 8) Expect your children to achieve, to win, but don’t teach them the principles of life, of living. Let them learn them on their own. 9) Take a "pick-me-up" pill in the morning, followed by a relaxant at night. 10) Never correct your children appropriately, but uphold them before the law, school, church, and friends as "not my child." 11) Always fight and argue in front of your children. 12) Always pick up after your child. Never let the child take any responsibility. 13) Keep your home atmosphere in a state of chaos. 14) Always solve their problems and make their decisions for them. 15) Be too busy with business, civic, church, or social life to spend time with your children. 16) Don’t teach them while they are young. Wait until they are old enough to learn so they can decide right and wrong for themselves. 17) Make sure to drink alcohol excessively. And always make sure to "fire one up" with them and use other illegal drugs. "Train your kids, not in the way they want to go, but in the way they should
go. It is your job to prepare them for life. They are not supposed to figure
it out on their own. Teach them to make choices, early, and when they
stumble, help them up. You are their parent, not their friend. If you're a
Christian, live like it. Teach your kids about their faith, early. And when
they grow older, they will not depart from it." See Proverbs 22:6
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